


Not Alone

by kitncat



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bendemption, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Force Bond (Star Wars), Forgiveness, Gen, Love, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Soulmates, TRoS Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23522218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitncat/pseuds/kitncat
Summary: Yet another TROS fix-it fic.ORAfter the Battle of Exegol and the loss of Ben Solo, Rey is left shattered - trying to pick up the pieces of herself surrounded by others who'd never see or understand the loss she endured.  So, she resorts to the only thing she's ever known - isolation.  Can the shocking return of Ben Solo bring peace to Rey - and the galaxy - or will the lingering shadows of Exegol drown them forever?
Relationships: Jannah/Rose Tico, Lando Calrissian & Jannah, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Poe Dameron & Ben Solo, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Not Alone

It's like a lightsaber slashed through her. No, not her. The bond. Even Palpatine hadn't managed to shatter it, but - in the blink of an eye - it's gone, Ben's side flickering out of existence.

His weight, limp in her arms, dragged her down with him - or maybe she followed him, she couldn't tell - as the light disappeared from his eyes - the pulse in the Force confirming what she'd already felt within herself.

Maybe she yelled... Maybe she suffered quietly while he faded away...

Even after he's gone, faded from sight, she sat there - silent tears tracking down her cheeks as she sobbed. She had no idea how long she sat there in the dust and shadows of the destroyed Sith Temple, before the pain had numbed enough that she was able to stumble to her feet. She felt numb, other than the ache in her chest, none of the numerous cuts and bruises registering in the pain within her, cutting far deeper than any physical wound ever could.

Somehow she made it to the X-Wing. In a blur she flew back to the base, saw her friends and allies all celebrating - rushing to greet friends and family alike. It brought a new wave of grief that almost brought her to her knees again, but she didn't have the time to fall apart when Poe and Finn spotted her as they broke apart from their reunion.

She wanted to smile, knew it's expected of the returning hero of the Resistance. She felt her muscles move - forcing her face into an empty smile. She's sure it didn't reach her eyes, even as she's wrapped in a hug by her friends.

"Rey you did it!" Poe praised, Finn grinning at her.

She nodded, "I guess I did." She replied with fake cheer, making Finn laugh and clap her on the shoulder while Poe turned - climbing up onto some rocks so that he could look out over the victorious crowd.

"Alright! We've won the battle! The First Order is in ruins!" Poe called out to the crowd, drowned out for minutes with the cheers before he could speak again, "We've won the war! But there are still going to be plenty of fights. Not everyone is going to support us rebuilding the Republic, but for tonight - let's celebrate!"

Rey watched with a blank gaze, and instantly made her way to the edge of the growing party as music erupts and the usually quiet camp became a loud celebration. It made her ears ring, and she watched from the sidelines as numbness spread through her being once more - cutting herself off from everything.

Maybe that's why she jumped when Rose settles beside her, the other young woman chuckling as she smiled, "Jumpy?"

"A little. Mostly just tired." Rey lied, but Rose missed it as she nodded.

"Maybe get some rest? I'm sure the celebration is going to drag on for days!" She laughed, and Rey wishes she could join in.

The Jedi nodded, slowly standing, "I'll try that."

\---------------

The days dragged on. At some point Rey stumbled upon two glinting Kyber crystals in the forest, and was able to build her own lightsaber with one of them. It felt... Good to have a saber of her own, the first thing since Ben's lips on hers to feel right.

It wasn't enough to chase away the numbness in her soul though. Pain lingered in every crevice of her being, and she found the energy needed to force a smile and fake a laugh greater with every passing day. She knew the others, especially Chewie, Maz, Rose, Finn, and Poe, had noticed - but they just continued trying to cheer her up, not understanding that the grief she carried with her wasn't just the lost soldiers of the final battle but her other half.

"He was right about one thing." She mused to the air as the sun faded, sitting where Leia had once trained her while she attempted to connect with the Jedi of the past. "We were a dyad, two halves of a whole."

For the first time since she fell apart in Exegol, a tear slid down her cheek - followed by another.

"A broken one." She hissed.

\--------------

She had watched the lightsabers sink into the sand, was still just standing here.

_"I'll be back soon."_ _She promised with a wave to her friends._

She couldn't go back... She couldn't keep up this charade of being okay... She hated lying to them, saying everything was fine when every morning felt like waking up for no reason - like the light of her galaxy was gone.

She almost laughed at the irony of it. He had tried so long to bring her away from the Light and into the Dark with him, and somehow in doing so had _become_ her light. Without him now, she might as well have been stuck in the dark.

Still, she couldn't quite bring herself to laugh - or even smile.

She hardly noticed the elderly woman approaching until she was spoken to, "There's been no one for so long. Who are you?"

"I'm Rey." The former scavenger replied, blinking at the woman as she gave a little nod - as if to reassure herself that she was indeed still Rey.

"Rey who?" The woman asked suspiciously.

Her heart froze in her chest. Rey Palpatine. Rey No One. Rey, the Last Jedi. Rey, the surviving half of a broken dyad. But none of those answers were satisfactory...

None of those answers could possibly be a good answer to the woman's honest question.

She looked to the side when she felt the slightest shift in the Force, spotting two unmistakable figures. Luke and Leia.

For a few brief moments she stared, holding her breath and praying she'd see him too. But he wasn't there, and he didn't appear, as if the galaxy could be crueler than taking him.

For a moment, she wanted to claim the Skywalker name... But that wasn't his name...

"Rey Solo." She finally responded.

The woman studied her a few moments longer, then nodded and moved on.

Rey closed her eyes, let her tears fall once more, then slid into the safety of the Skywalker homestead.

\----------------

It had been a month since Rey had left the Resistance behind, and begun a new life on Tatooine. A part of her scolded herself daily for waking up in the desert, rolling over and scratching another mark on the wall above where she'd made her bed. That part of her screamed this isn't what he would have wanted for her.

But then reality, with its harsh and unescapable truth. He was gone, and she was alone once more.

 _"You're not alone."_ Echoes in her voice as she thinks that every morning. But the truth is she was. She was alone.

But this morning... Something felt different...

The crushing weight within her was gone, the numbness and aching pain of grief and loss gone. For a few moments she laid still, staring at the ceiling while her brow furrowed in confusion. The flicker of irritation that wasn't her own made things click into place.

She wasn't gentle or careful as she sent a bolt of hope down the bond. For the first time in a month and a half she wasn't answered with silence that cut to her core, but rather with a warmth that reached from his end of the bond to hers - spreading from that spot in her mind throughout her being.

" _Ben_." It's as much a breath out loud as it is a cry of relief in her mind, echoing through the bond to him.


End file.
